She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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