I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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