it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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