Will you blow on my dice?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
