Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize