Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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