He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
