Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
sex in a hospital.. check
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
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