I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
