but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
