I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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