sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
