Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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