Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
