so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
