ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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