You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
