I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
