I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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