I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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