Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
