And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i now understand why vodka
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
