You're completely useless in the revolution.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Im part way to drunk.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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