Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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