You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize