Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room