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I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
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