Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
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hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's