Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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