Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
