Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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