it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
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I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
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Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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