Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm bleeding and have questions
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize