It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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