So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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