this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
