His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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