when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
