Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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