:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
