Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize