biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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