he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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