everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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