Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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