DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
