I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
