somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
