Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
my liver is dry heaving
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
