She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
