So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
