Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
