i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
