You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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