sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
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