My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
