thus making me awesome and them whores
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
