i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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