Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize